Dating is can be an absolute terror for shy people and they are too scared to do something about it. Do not be afraid. A lot of shy people have succeeded in meeting new people and formed lasting, happy relationships. With a little practice, you can too.
An innocent handshake or ordinary eye contact is a petrifying experience for the shy woman. Your brain locks up as you struggle to think of something to say, you fall apart as soon as youre asked what you do for a living, the heat rises in your face and under your arms, in the blink of an eye you are choking totally incapable of saying anything.
Here are some tips for taming your social terror
1. Smile people respond positively to a smile a genuine smile projects friendliness and approachability. Show teeth whenever possible and practice in front of a mirror if you have to a disarming smile never fails to get them.
2. Be prepared to answer the question of what you do for a living or what keeps you busy. Just state clearly what it is you do and dont apologize for it.
3. Listening skills - It is vital that you listen to what the other person is saying instead of fretting about what you will say.
4. Practice asking questions about the new friends you meet, make a list if you have to and memorize them: How did you get into your line of work? What college did you go to? Have you seen any movies lately? People love to talk about themselves (except you), ask safe, all-purpose questions that lead to conversations.
5. When you find yourself beginning to choke, go on the offensive by asking questions.
6. Breathe deeply and slowly whenever you feel you are begin to heart race. When you start to feel that your face has become so hot you could use it for a wok, excuse yourself and go to the restroom.
7. Be sincere when you give a compliment. It may seem odd by complimenting a man on his sharp nose or sexy eyes, so compliment him on an accessory he is wearing or fond of.
8. Be conversant on current events and ready to discuss them intelligently.
9. Everybody relates to simple topics like the weather, gas prices, and new technology. There are people who can make strangers feel like theyve known them forever by talking fearlessly about these topics whereas shy people worry that talking about mundane things will make them appear stupid.
These tips will not do you any good if you always stay home. Meeting new friends and talking to strangers can be uncomfortable but over time it gets easier. You may feel more comfortable watching television at home but I promise you, Prince Charming will never climb through your bedroom window looking for you!
If you experience a terrible night outing, dont get upset, take it as a form of feedback on your new found skills, but give yourself a pat for making the effort. When you have a good night, understand that you earned it and know that countless wonderful nights are ahead. |
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